Nope, sorry. I’m not buying it, Red Sox fans. I’m not buying that you are a “cursed” team. I’m not buying that this is a “Bill Buckner” moment. Cursed teams are the ones that never taste sports glory, and when they do come close to winning it all, they lose on some fluky, miraculous, low-percentage play. The reality of this situation is that your beloved 2011 Boston Red Sox just falt-out sucked. They had 7 wins and 20 losses in the month of September, which included going 2-4 against the Toronto Blue Jays and 2-5 against the Baltimore Orioles - two teams that had absolutely nothing to play for. To be fair, the whole team didn’t suck. Rather, it was the starting pitching that sucked. After all, the Red Sox finished first or second in virtually every offensive category this season. In this (hopefully) post-steroid era, in which we are seeing a renaissance of pitching, the Red Sox starters had an ERA of 7.08 in September. I’ll admit, when a good starting pitcher gives up seven runs in nine innings, it might be a fluke. But when an entire rotation of starters gives up seven runs every nine innings for an entire month, that’s just awful.
Red Sox fans, I see what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to crawl back into that “woe is us” shell that you lived in for so many years. It’s what you know. It’s that comfort blanket you had since you were a baby. It’s your “binky,” if you will. But that ship has sailed, my friends. It went away the moment the Red Sox won two World Series in three years, and you became the cockiest fan base in the entire sports world (with some assistance from the Celtics and Patriots). You took your binky out of the closet, threw it in the trash, moved away to college, and joined the biggest douche bag fraternity on campus. You’re no longer the anti-Yankees. After all, you’ve won more World Series in the past ten years than the Yankees. As a matter of fact, you are the Yankees now. The actual Yankees have become more like the St. Louis Cardinals (perennially successful, and broke through to win a World Series once).
Face it, Red Sox fans, you’re not the lovable losers anymore: You’re the hatable front-runners. And you just got what was coming to you.
