Oh hi, Mark.

I know this isn’t the most pressing issue facing the country right now, but I think it’s time we started a national dialogue about how ridiculously over-the-top the fake Australian accents are getting in Outback Steakhouse commercials.

A family in Texas has reported that the image of Jesus has appeared in the mold and mildew growing in their shower.

Stories like this one remind me of that famous passage in the Gospel of Matthew:

And lo, Jesus turned to the farmer and said, “Do not be troubled, my son. Though I am not long for this world in a fleshly form, there will come a day when I shall return – sometimes in a moldy shower, sometimes on a burnt piece of toast, but always on an extremely slow news day. I ask only that you trust in the word of God, and that you do not spread me with jam or scrub me away with Mr. Clean. Instead, contact your local news, so that the word of God can be spread to as much as tens of people. And if you can make a little money off of it in the process, knock yourself out.” – Matthew 24:14

Two extra inning home losses to start the season, and it’s already time for me to politely ask the Cleveland Indians to drink the Heaven’s Gate punch.

With the Knicks losing 6 straight games, Linsanity is seeming pretty un-Lin-teresting right now.

The nice thing about having DVR is that you can start watching the Super Bowl late and then just fast-forward through all of the football.

According to Forbes Magazine, the value of the New York Knicks’ franchise increased 19% since last year. They are now valued at approximately $780 million.

This just goes to prove the old adage: you can’t put a winning on price.

President Obama unveiled his new theme in tonight’s State of the Union address: “America, Built to Last.” This slogan narrowly beat out his alternative themes: “America, Built Ford Tough” and “America, I’m Thinking Arby’s.”